The Gate to the North draws closer.
I can feel it in the wind, in the Earth… and I can see it right in front where the blanket of dark clouds gave way to let rays of golden sunset rays show me my destination.
The Nordkapp is steadily getting closer.
My goal is drawing near.
And what is next?
A warm welcome back to the Norway Chronicles. Today we explore the depths of my confused and confusing mind.
We are asking the very reasonable question that surely not only concerns myself, but us all.
Bold statement.
To verify let me ask you a question before we take a walk:
Have you ever attained a goal and without even celebrating the achievement, without taking a moment, a day or even a week to bathe in the glory of feeling accomplished and proud of yourself, gone on to seek out the next thing?
If so, then I’ll join the club. Because today I found myself thinking about my route back!
Can you believe this?
About 6'000 kilometres since I set out from Austria, 300 kilometres until I am at the Nordkapp, at least 1'500 kilometres more to explore in the very North before the weather gets too treacherous for my all-weather tyres and uninsulated Glen Van Ben and we will make our way South again.
And here I was on the top of a mountain, contemplating taking the journey home either through Sweden or through Finland, Estonia, Lithuania and so on until I get to Malta.
I caught myself in these thoughts and couldn’t help but facepalm myself.
What in the heck is going on in that brain of mine that I cannot even wait to complete a set objective, cannot give myself the slightest amount of time to process the impact and epic-ness of that goal, but instead am already contemplating, planning the next thing.
Is this a common thing?
I am not sure, I rely on more people than my own mind to answer that. Yet I have a feeling that in the everyday life situations, with the everyday tasks and the everyday things, energies, challenges that occupy our thoughts, we tend to not give ourselves enough credit for what we give, do and achieve. It is always from one thing to the next. A pause, a halt, a break in between, I personally think, is seldomly ever given. Nor appreciated. Time is money, or some such phrase comes to mind.
Well, what if time is actually life force, or energy, or simply the currency that enables you to experience the reality either in a dynamic or in a rather static way. What if not giving ourselves credit for what we give, do and achieve, is actually shortening the time we have in this life? Shortening our lifespan, if you will?
I am not scientifically arguing here, I am arguing in a simple game of philosophic virtue.
What if time is actually not money, but life force.
And the people who live for their life force, their vital energy, putting on top of the list to pause every once in a while after accomplishing something, or just for the sake of pausing, what if those people live to an older age than those never stopping a second to breathe and look around and take the time given to them to actually appreciate themselves. Or what if they live to a more fulfilled state of mind, contented life, than those rushing through and being rushed and rushing for the sake of rushing because that was engraved onto their collective behaviour as a pattern?
And so I find myself contemplating that though I am as far away from a timed 9-5, Monday to Friday setting, though I find myself the master of all of my time with no one to answer to and no deadline looming, I am still very much caged inside the hustle. I start the new project before I even finished the one currently in the works. I praise living in the Now and yet forget that this Now is the gift to honour, and not the next thing to come or be done once I get to a certain point. Because who knows what that will even be. It is unpredictable, it doesn’t need to have a shape yet.
That is the freedom I crave to have.
Admittedly, through this thoughts and blogpost quite visible, this kind of freedom is something to attain to first. To learn first.
Like a skin, a new skin, that first one tries on, it may pinch here or there, and slowly over time, patience and bonding experiences, one starts to trust this new skin and slowly it becomes as good a fit as the one that was shed once was.
Yes, I feel good with that intention. The intention to not be hard on myself anymore.
Be soft. Acknowledge this thought that I am learning a new trade.
The trade of what freedom means, looks and feels to me.
The trade of getting comfortable in finding all of it out.
The trade of being idle at times, let time be time and honour the Now.
What a lovely occupation that would be.
Be kind to yourself, and be kind to others, my beloved soul!
All the very best in the world for you, all that you need…
… and a pinch of what you want too!
Love and light
Nadine
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