Some days I win
Some days I lose
Both days, I smile
I remember as if it was yesterday that I truly was a negative realist, explaining to everyone that it was the only way to be prepared for what life throws at you. Advocating for the advantage of thinking everything through in order to not be surprised by anything. Though being prepared for every eventuality might sound appealing at first, in hindsight I am eager to admit that I did it to feel as if I had everything under control. And this speaks volumes about my state of mind for the majority of my adult life. It is understandable since my teenage years and first few experiences during my adolescent years were quite challenging. Nonetheless it tells a story of a person that not only has a fearful approach towards life, but even more a character that seems stuck in the belief system of being the victim, unable to see any good in what life can bring. The smallest security I could give myself was control. And so I lived a life in fear of the next big thing with the certainty that the next big thing just could not be anything good, not for me anyway.
Even so, the majority of days were spend without laughter, without a smile.
Needless to say that all of this has changed. Surprisingly it was not me that pointed this change out, it was a very dear and close working colleague who first shared her observation of my personality as being one that is purely positive. I was taken aback then, this was the first time that someone actually gave me this feedback. Not only that but I had never been associated with positivity, not by myself or anyone else. I knew I had changed, I knew I put all my efforts into staying in line with my life's motto "Courage and Kindness", I knew I tried to bring love to the world, one word or smile or favor at a time. But hearing from someone on the outside that this had been recognised and seen, that I finally was perceived as a person with a positive attitude, it melted my heart and flooded my body with pure joy.
It had been, and still is, a long way to go where I want to be. My aim is to be an agile, long-white-haired, dame with herbal expertise living in an ecovillage community, in love with myself and in love with the world. As of now though I am very content with my progress and were I stand. This quote, from an unknown source, is exactly were I am now but what I want to emphasize here is that it absolutely is not were I started out, which is why I wanted to share this story. Self development, perseverance and determination brought me to this point of my life, commitment to what you want is key to success. And it is not just now and then, it needs to be at least once a day with an honest investment of precious time. Years ago I would have laughed if someone would have suggested that I would be saying something like this, I had no energy for anything like that. I had no goals, no drive, no will to grow, no love for myself and could see no point or way to enjoy life.
Now I do have things life throws at me but my approach to it is different, my perception has changed because I am in control, I dictate how I feel about anything that happens. So with this power I am able to live this quote to the fullest.
Some days I win, some days I lose but both days I smile - and this leads ultimately to being a winner every day.
Love and light, beloved souls, to all of you