{a farewell to a home}
Dear Apartment,
I suddenly spin out off some ordinary activity within everyday life
And I look at my dearest Marjorie lying on the floor left on her purple blanket
breathing,
My gaze wandering through this one room home that I spent such a huge part of
lifetime in
The net of lightning forming the tangling friendship with green
plants
I remember how it had evolved, thrived, gained and lost
Weeped, anxious, unsure, insecure
And now all of this filled me up within
warming me
Mind you, I will really miss this aparment
this home
Though I know it will be with me everywhere I
go
Considering that I have not written poetry in a very long time, and even when I had done it, I never ever would have thought that I would come to a time in my life where I would feel comfortable enough to write something and let it out into the world, I feel bold right now to share.
So this came to my mind, actually just minutes ago as I am writing this.
Evidently I looked to the side from the right side of my apartment where I sat on my laptop, to the left side of it and my gaze feel upon Marjorie in her lying sideways most beloved sleeping position. Within that second of looking at her something within me popped out of the ordinary-day-activity-to-do-one-thing-after-another perception of reality and into a state of sudden stillness, awareness.
Currently there are 10 things left within my home (for a week to come) amidst obviously the 103 things I take with me on our adventure: curtains (washing and taking to the 2nd hand shop next week), 3 piece sound system (also 2nd hand shop), sleeping bag (2nd hand shop on January 4th after my last night in here and in Switzerland altogether), Marjorie's tray (water and food bowl, donating shelter next week), my yoga mat and Marjorie's blanket as well as my electrical warming blanket (present for a lovely dog lover I met only a few months ago but is such an exquisitely beautiful soul, so I hope it will give her as much coziness as it has given me), a plant intertwined with a lighting net up the wall and last but not least a stool serving me as a tray, table, working station and climbing support when cleaning.
Within this awareness I looked at all the items, pictures came to mind of how much this apartment was a mirror for my inner life, witnessing the transition over the years and suddenly realizing the similarities between them. If it is a home then it reflects your energy of life back and shows you where you stand, for me at least while living alone here for three years now. I was so crammed when I moved in, there was so much going on, I tried my best to squeeze everything,that seemed to matter so much to me, into one tiny space. And the funny thing is the perception I gather when looking back on it. It feels like I know that I truly felt comfortable within every interior stage I created, but the memory of the feelings during this time is muffled out, the kind when during a movie suddenly the sound is absorbed or deleted. Now after so many different stages of interior (I rearranged and redecorated my apartment over the course of three years approximately 8 times all over and about 12 times for smaller adjustments like having donated a book shelf and filling up the space or arranging everything accordingly a little bit different than before). Finding only 10 things left and a backpack containing 102 things, it is very moving to say goodbye.
Suddenly Marjorie began to move within her sleep, a thing that happened since she came to me and from the beginning it gave me so much joy to see how relaxed and supported and save she must feel when she can sleep so deeply… I am in a loss of descriptions for what it meant to me every time, and when she did it just now another flood of melancholia as well as gratitude flooded my cells, I mean it, this is why I wanted to write it out, share it with the world and officially saluting in awe and thankfulness to my beloved nest.
May the kind new inhabitant will find the same joy as me while living here.
So byebye my beloved home, thank you for your care
All the best and all is fair
